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 Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")

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Jenova
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PostSubject: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Fri Jun 12, 2015 10:34 pm





Zanpakuto Name: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")

Zanpakuto Spirit Appearance:

Spirit's Appearance :
 
Zanpakuto Spirit Personality: Sanbika is a very calm mother like figure, in the sense of how she is protective over her wielders. She tends to have a strong bond with her wielders and is extremely gentle in nature when speaking, although once she is in engaged in combat, she seems completely different. Her combat style is hard to follow due to how much she changes it in mid battle and she appears graceful in combat. When in battle, the spirit will play the same flute that is represented when the blade is released into the Shikai stage. She works in near perfect harmony with her serpent pet. If one is fighting her in her inner world, she will often times alter the environment to play into her favor in combat. By creating walls and making the room dark. Her weapon and snake are manifestations of herself, graceful but deadly. Same

Inner World: The inner world of Sanbika is a unusual place that seems to be voided of the rules that would hold down the real world. The spirit of the zanpakuto simply thinks of something, and it will appear. There is constantly the sound of a flute playing in the background of the world.
In it's rawest form, the world is a endless white room, with a single thrown sitting in the center of the room. This thrown being where one will usually find Sanbika, normally lounging around her is the serpent that can may be called upon in the Bankai stage of Sanbika. Sanbika can normally change the feeling of the world though and create a busy city or a grassland. Whenever the environment changes though, the sound of the flute does too. Almost fitting each environment.

Sealed Zanpakuto Appearance: In it's sealed state, the blade resembles a normal katana with a dark purple handle. The guard on the blade is shaped into a diamond.
Length: 24 Inches
Width: 1.2 Inches


Release Phrase:

  • Shikai Phrase: Play A melody, Sanbika.
  • Bankai Phrase: Slither, Sanbika.


Shikai Appearance: When Sanbika is released into Shikai stage, the entire blade glows a white color and transforms into a simple metal flute. The flute being 26 inches in length. The flute can also function as a dagger in this stage, having a pointed end and bladed side much like a dagger. This allows Sanbika to provide some type of equipment for close range combat, although Sanbika specializes in long range combat.

Shikai Abilities: Although Sanbika can be used as a close range dagger like weapon, its real power lays in long range combat. In Shikai, Sanbika has various melodies that can be played on the flute in order to have different effects. Making Sanbika extremely versatile in combat. The melodies  are as follow:

Melodies:
 

*The user is capable of changing the melody whenever they wish, switching between attacks and defenses quickly.

|Weaknesses|

  • Only one melody may be played at one given moment.
  • The user must continue to play the flute in order to use the abilities that the Shikai form gives. (With the exception of the Melody of Health)
  • The user normally has to put all their attention to playing the flute, which takes up both hands. This could cause difficulty and opening in battle.


Bankai Appearance: While in Bankai, the flute is identical to the same flute that is revealed in the Shikai stage.

Bankai Abilities:

While released into bankai, the user may play the same melodies in their shikai form while also having some new abilities. These abilities are as followed.

Bankai Abilities :
 



Last edited by Jenova on Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:25 pm; edited 7 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:26 pm

Finished and ready to be reviewed.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Mon Jun 15, 2015 7:33 pm

|BUMP|
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:01 pm

Hello miss Jenova, I will be discussing with you on your app.  Anything that is out of place or needs editing will be in this color.   Hope that you understand that there will be no biased grading on this application, any and all issues dealt with on this app is strictly based on the rules of this site.  Now then without further adieu, your over all assessment.


Quote :
Sanbika is a very calm mother like figure, in the sense of how she is protective over her wielders. She tends to have a strong bond with her wielders and is extremely gentle in nature when speaking, although once she is in engaged in combat, she seems completely different. Her combat style is hard to follow due to how much she changes it in mid battle and she appears graceful in combat. This is manifested in her Shikai, the flute is graceful but dangerous. 
This is a little vague on the matter of the combat style, could you please elaborate just a little bit more, this would be appreciated, I do like where you are going with it but I would need a bit more detail please.


Quote :
In it's sealed state, the blade resembles a normal katana with a dark purple handle. The guard on the blade is shaped into a diamond.
This is fine, but please include the length and the width of the katana, in other words please describe the dimensions of the blade.


Quote :
Melody of Health: The wielder of Sanbika plays a peaceful melody on the flute form of Sanbika that projects a light green sphere shaped around the user. 
The light green sphere can be passed through just as if it wasn't there. Although, those within the green sphere are healed. 
Can you be more descriptive on the effects of the healing.  For example, how long does it take to heal the subject, do you have to be still to be healing, can you use attacks while healing, is there a cool down system for this ability, what is the max amount the healing can do.  Please be more descriptive.


Quote :
Melody of Death: The wielder of Sanbika plays a ominous melody on the flute form of Sanbika. When doing so, the user is capable of manipulating the shadows are the user to take physical forms and engage in combat. This physical form can change the users shadow into a long tentacle like weapon that has blade like properties to it. these black shadow tentacles may be used engage in sword combat, to grapple targets, to cut through objects/targets, or to even grab the user of Sanbika to avoid attacks. The user may conjure up to four of these shadow tentacle blades. The shadows can travel on surfaces like most shadows and emerge at the call of the wielder of Sanbika. The shadows may travel up to 60 feet away from the user in any direction.
Can this please have a cool down on this, please and thank you. As well as a resistance for the attack against a target as I would imagine this can't auto hit.


Quote :
The wielder of Sanbika plays a repetitive melody on the flute form of Sanbika. When doing so, the user creates a dome like shield around the user, or if in the air a sphere like shield. The transparent barrier is extremely powerful. Against normal blades/weapons, the shield is not even harmed. The barrier has earned a name in the soul society has being one of the most powerful in the soul societies data base. 
Can you please give the dimensions of the dome or the sphere?  Also this is vague on it's power, your shield is equal to your stats in strength so please add a resist as to what exactly can break its defense. Please also include a cool down.


Quote :
The wielder of Sanbika plays a unusual melody on the flute form of Sanbika. When doing so, the melody causes targets to freeze in place. This has been noted to work extremely well on weaker hollows, giving others a chance to strike it down. This melody is usually used for stalling time or for creating a open for allies. The melody paralyzes the desired targets by overtaking their body with an immense feeling of fear
Please elaborate on the amount of posts one is frozen for, include a resist and a cool down


Quote :
*The user is capable of changing the melody whenever they wish, switching between attacks and defenses quickly.
Allowable but the melodies still need a cool down, duration and resists


Quote :



  • Only one melody may be played at one given moment. 

  • The user must continue to play the flute in order to use the abilities that the Shikai form gives. 

  • The user normally has to put all their attention to playing the flute, which takes up both hands. This could cause difficulty and opening in battle. 

This is acceptable.


Quote :
Hypnotic Melody: The user plays the flute form of Sanibika, the melody played sounds extremely hypnotic. Once the targets hear the melody, all of their senses are under the manipulation of the wielder. The wielder is able to create illusions to trick the target or create an entire world in the eyes of the target, while in all actuality the target is simply standing or sitting in place, hypnotized. After the target is hypnotized though, the wielder may play the flute in order to control the movements of the desired target. Turning the target into a puppet for the user. While under the control of the wielder, the targets is trapped in a illusion world created by the wielder of sanbika, having no awareness of was their body is doing. The world they're trapped in can range from a happy place to built on the fears of the target, just dependent on what the wielder wishes.
Please include a resist, cool down, duration, range of the attack.


Quote :
Weakness: 

  • While a target is under the control of the Hypnotic Melody, the wielder of Sanbika does not have access to the targets zanpakuto. If the target had already released theri Zanpakuto before being placed under control though, the wielder of Sanbika has access to the blade in that form. 


  • The wielder must continue to play the flute in order to manipulate the target. The illusion lasts one post pass when the flute is finished playing. The ability to control the target though, is lost as soon as the flute has ceased playing. 

This is acceptable, I approve.


Quote :
The user begins to play the flute bankai form of Sanbika, this causes what appears to be a portal to open near the wielder of Sanbika. Emerging out of the portal is a large white serpent that wears an unusual beads around its neck. The serpent is capable of demolishing through buildings, digging under ground, and releasing a venom in gas and liquid form. 
The venom that the serpent uses, is powerful enough to kill a human initially on contact. 
When used against shinigami and other super human beings, the venom paralyzes two post after injection/inhaling (The entire body becomes stiff and stops the target in their place, but also puts them through a tremendous amount of pain) and kills after four post.  It's a slow and painful death. 
The venom can be released in a poisonous purple gas that covers a 15 feet in length and 15 in width. Or through being injected by a bite from the serpent. 

The serpent also has not only great destructive force, but also has healing powers as well. The serpent is capable of neutralizing it's own venom by producing a unusual transparent liquid from his mouth that is meant to be drank or pump into a body to neutralize it's own venom. Working as the only anti-venom for the serpents venom. The serpent is also capable of making contact with a target and healing the desired contact through touch, by releasing spiritual energy to recover the wounds of those in contact with the target. 

Unlike most of the abilities that involve Sanbika, the wielder does not have to continue to play the flute to use the serpent. The serpent listens to vocal and telepathic commands given from the wielder of Sanbika. It's rumored that this serpent is the pet of the spirit that lives within Sanbika. 

The serpent summoned is about the size of a bus. 45 feet in length. 
Unfortunately you already gave your shikai shadow like qualities, giving it summoning and poisoning abilities atop of paralyses and freezing that is far too much, please pick between the abilities I can't allow all those traits it wouldn't be fair.




Overall Assessment:
Please add in cool downs, resists, durations, ranges to all ability.  Make note that all the properties you gave to several abilities such as paralyses, freezing, summoning, ect can't be allowed I will only allow three traits and not all of them.  I look forward to reading your editing, but this app is pretty solid overall once the changes have been made, I or another staff member will assess this once more.  Thank you for reading and understanding.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 5:40 pm

How should I go about resistances?

Also, so is it too much to be able to summon the serpent in my bankai state? I came up with that from the idea of my weapon being a flute and snake charmers and all. Are you saying that the serpent just can't use it's venom or should i just trash the whole idea as a whole? Is it because my shikai has a bunch of abilities and being able to summon in bankai would just be to much or?
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 5:44 pm

You will go about resistances based on stats, your zanpakuto stats are equal to yours so work off of that. As for the snake thing, you have given your zanpakuto in shikai form Freezing, Paralyses traits which is fine but giving it summoning, poison traits as well is much so pick between the two, you can't have both, that's too much because then you are traveling into the realm of giving your zanpakuto 3 elements when you can only have one element if any.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 5:50 pm

What if I get rid of the shadow ability, since I feel like that doesn't go with the theme of a snake and
instead I'll make some type of weaker offensive attack just so I can have some type of offensive move in my shikai?
That way I won't really have any destructive power until bankai with the serpent? Everything else is support type in that case.

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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:03 pm

Jenova you still would have freezing, paralyses, summoning, poison, no you must pick you can not have them all.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:08 pm

When i was making the character, freezing and paralysis are the same thing.
To me, the Melody of Fear was a weaker version of the hypnotic melody. Hynotic Melody is just a stronger version of the Melody of Fear, so that would only be three abilities if I get rid of the shadows.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:10 pm

Yes Jenova but you are still asking for two elements, zanpakuto are only allows to have 1 element and that is it if any.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:15 pm

I'm confused on what the two elements are?
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:16 pm

Poison, paralyses, freezing
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:21 pm

I think I just used the wrong term.
When I said freezing, I meant it in the sense of paralysis as well. Not in a ice/cold manner.
I also kind of feel that paralysis and poison go so closely together that they shouldn't count as two separate elements.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:24 pm

Well unfortunately Paralysis deals with electricity and poison but here I will not allow poison and that to be the same it's two separate elements, so one or the other.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:57 pm

Alrighty, I believed I fixed it all.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:22 pm

Quote :
Melody of Strike: The wielder plays a unusual melody that gathers spiritual energy at the end of the flute and fires the raw spiritual energy in the direction of the target. This abilities stats are based off of the wielders kido ranking. The raw spiritual energy takes a dark purple color along with the shape of a sphere that deals blunt damage when struck with that is capable of breaking through walls or pushing enemies back greatly.
The spiritual energy that is fired at the target is about the size of a basketball.
This needs to have a cool down, range, resist, and duration as well as the dimensions.

Quote :
Hypnotic Melody: The user plays the flute form of Sanibika, the melody played sounds extremely hypnotic. Once the targets hear the melody, all of their senses are under the manipulation of the wielder. The wielder is able to create illusions to trick the target or create an entire world in the eyes of the target, while in all actuality the target is simply standing or sitting in place, hypnotized. After the target is hypnotized though, the wielder may play the flute in order to control the movements of the desired target. Turning the target into a puppet for the user. While under the control of the wielder, the targets is trapped in a illusion world created by the wielder of sanbika, having no awareness of was their body is doing. The world they're trapped in can range from a happy place to built on the fears of the target, just dependent on what the wielder wishes.

Duration: One is under the hypnotic trance as long as the flute is played. Max [10 post]

Cool Down: +1 on the number of post the ability was used. So, if the ability was used for 3 post, the cool down is 4 post.

Range: May target up to 5 targets at any given time. Can effect targets in any direction within 70 feet of the wielder.

Resistance: The strength of this ability is based off the wielders Weapon Skills ranking. One must be of a higher rank in their weapon skills to break out of the hypnotic state. Or, if one's willpower or focus is above dangerous they are capable of breaking out of the hypnotic state as well. One can also be released of the state by enduring a fatal wound. The trauma from the wound breaks the target(s) from their hypnotic state. Although, the wound must be fatal. Simple cuts and bruises won't break the target out of the trance.

Weakness:

While a target is under the control of the Hypnotic Melody, the wielder of Sanbika does not have access to the targets zanpakuto. If the target had already released theri Zanpakuto before being placed under control though, the wielder of Sanbika has access to the blade in that form.

The wielder must continue to play the flute in order to manipulate the target. The illusion lasts one post pass when the flute is finished playing. The ability to control the target though, is lost as soon as the flute has ceased playing.

The resistance would be more Mental than weapon based as it is controlling the mind.

Quote :
Melody of the Summoner: The user begins to play the flute bankai form of Sanbika, this causes what appears to be a portal to open near the wielder of Sanbika. Emerging out of the portal is a large white serpent that wears an unusual beads around its neck. The serpent is capable of demolishing through buildings, digging under ground, and releasing a venom in gas and liquid form.
The venom that the serpent uses, is powerful enough to kill a human initially on contact.This is an auto hit this is not allowed please remove this.
When used against shinigami and other super human beings, the venom paralyzes two post after injection/inhaling (The entire body becomes stiff and stops the target in their place, but also puts them through a tremendous amount of pain) and kills after four post. It's a slow and painful death. Again this is an auto hit please fix this so that it is not.
The venom can be released in a poisonous purple gas that covers a 15 feet in length and 15 in width. Or through being injected by a bite from the serpent.

The serpent also has not only great destructive force, but also has healing powers as well. The serpent is capable of neutralizing it's own venom by producing a unusual transparent liquid from his mouth that is meant to be drank or pump into a body to neutralize it's own venom. Working as the only anti-venom for the serpents venom. The serpent is also capable of making contact with a target and healing the desired contact through touch, by releasing spiritual energy to recover the wounds of those in contact with the target.

Unlike most of the abilities that involve Sanbika, the wielder does not have to continue to play the flute to use the serpent. The serpent listens to vocal and telepathic commands given from the wielder of Sanbika. It's rumored that this serpent is the pet of the spirit that lives within Sanbika.

The serpent summoned is about the size of a bus. 45 feet in length.

Weakness:


The serpent can't be killed permanently, but once it reaches exhaustion, the serpent will vanish. Can't be used until the next thread after that.
The serpent's gas venom can be blown away by causing a gust of wind or strong enough force to blow away the gas.
The serpent can't can only go as far as 5 miles away from the wielder.

All abilities need a cool down, a resist, a range and duration, many of the abilities here are auto hit and are not allowed please fix or it will be denied.

Overall Assessment:
After looking at your app for a second time I glanced at more details, I am happy you fixed other abilities and they are now approved but the auto hits are forbidden on this site, please fix these. I or another staff member will reassess this application once the appropriate edits have been made. Thanks for reading and understanding.
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:23 pm

How should I alter the poison to how it still has a effect though?
In my mind I didn't see it as an auto hit because first the serpent has to inject the poison for it to take effect. Much like how, Captain Kurotsuchi has a poison blade but it's not considered a auto-hit because first he must strike you with it. I kind of thought about it in that sense. I guess I just didn't see the effects of a poison being a auto hit. I can lengthen the time the poison takes to kill if you'd like?
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Wed Jun 17, 2015 5:57 pm

Poison shouldn't be able to kill at all unless the resistance isn't met.  So please put a resistance
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PostSubject: Re: Sanbika (賛美歌; Literally meaning; "Hymn")    Thu Jun 18, 2015 7:04 pm

I'm confused on what measures resistance though?
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